Priorities: Creating Your New Life in the Best Way for You and Your Special Needs Child


As you process your emotions in a productive way with the help of a trained professional, it is time to start thinking about your priorities and what you want your new life to look like.

Do you want to stay in the marital home?

Do you want your kids to stay in the same neighborhood or school district?

Is it time to make a completely fresh start?

Your divorce is essentially a “do-over”, providing you with the opportunity to remove the parts of your life that are not working and replace them with things that will feed your soul and encourage you to live in your purpose. Taking the time to intentionally create your new life will leave you happier and more fulfilled in the long run.

Try Creating a Vision Board

Vision boards are a great way to build the image of your new life. There are many ways to make them, but you can check out this resource to get started.

No One Wins 100% in Divorce. You Must Prioritize.

As you think through your new life, decide what takes priority and what you are willing to negotiate on. For example, is staying in your current home important to you, or is this the perfect time to change your environment to something that suits you better?

Think about the assets you and your soon-to-be-ex have accumulated. Which of those are the most important to you? The truth about divorce is that no one wins 100%. The family gets divided, the assets get divided, and the debts get divided. Making a list of what your priorities are can help you decide what is worth fighting for in the divorce process.

Prioritize Your Child’s Needs

If you have a great career, increasing your monthly income through alimony may not be that important to you. If you have always wanted to live at the beach, keeping the suburban marital home may not matter at all to you. Everything in divorce is negotiable up until you go to trial. However, it is always desirable to make your own rules and your own agreements about how to divide things rather than leave those important decisions in the hands of a judge. The courts also encourage reaching amicable agreements outside of court whenever possible.

If your child is expected to require additional assistance into adulthood, it is important to consider setting aside funds today in a special needs trust. Who will be in charge of investing those funds? Will you need a plan for making additional financial contributions to the trust? These are questions that you need to find the answers to.

These issues are critical for you to discuss and agree on before finalizing your divorce. Many states do not have provisions in their laws for the courts to order parents to support adult children. Failing to nail down an agreement while your divorce is pending could leave you and your child at a great disadvantage and financially vulnerable down the road.

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